In my experience, it is sometimes difficult during a prolonged period of illness, when I am unproductive, unsociable, isolated and unable to move, go outdoors or do anything at all, to not only accept but also be loving kind towards myself. I think this is the case for many people. Perhaps after two or three weeks of myself slowing down and needing physical care, my partner is no longer understanding, the children demand to play together, work piles up, and everyone is waiting for me to ‘function’ again – like a machine. In such a situation, I think it is important to consider three things:
1. What does it mean to take good care of myself (physically)?
2. What does it mean to take care of my feelings (mentally)?
3.What is my pace from moment to moment (I like to call it the principle of resonance)?
The first question covers everything I can and should do to support my body during this momentum of illness. From simple but effective measures such as respecting my need to sleep, rest, drinking tea, gargling, hot water bottles, calf wraps, etc.. We all know more or less useful applications and should not hesitate to ask friends and compassionate people for further tips when at a loss.
It is also advisable to consult a doctor who sees me not only as a symptom carrier but also as a human being and who takes the time to listen. However, this does not relieve me of the responsibility I have for my body. The doctor may be wrong. That can happen too. So everything I do or don’t do is always based on my own assessment and my intuition about my body. If I have taken good care of my body on a physical level, this has two advantages: I may better be able to accept the unpleasant aspects of my condition and relax into the state of illness, allowing healing to take place being aware, that I have done everything necessary. This promotes my healing.
The second question may not be as obvious as the first one. And yet a study on fulfilment conducted this year (2025) shows how important emotional and mental health is for overall health. Meaningfulness was found to be associated with improved self-regulation, which positively influences health behaviour, physical fitness and reduced pain perception and symptom burden; overall, it even reduces the risk of mortality. Meaningfulness is attributed a motivating and moderating role. Crises of meaning that are not processed, on the other hand, can have a destructive effect. And that is of course just one example of the importance of mental health in relation to our overall health and well-being.
If we assume that the body and mind are closely related, it is only logical that my mental well-being has a direct impact on my physical recovery – and vice versa.
There is a method that I have used successfully with teenagers and young adults to help them access difficult emotions. I would like to introduce it to you. It is called the RAIN method and is used by a number of mindfulness teachers and body therapists (for example, Tara Brach in the USA). I would like to share it with you because I find it very helpful in dealing with my own emotions – during times of illness and emotional challenges to the mind related to that state of being ill but also – or especially – when we are healthy and may tend to overlook our real mental-emotional composition.
This acronym stands for R = Recognise, A = Attention, I = Investigate, N = Nourish. When I perceive pain or other unpleasant sensations in my body, the first step is to recognise them. My attention is the microscope with which I find the place in my body where my sensation is perceptible. Saying this, I have already described “A” to a large extent. To Investigate means to look at what is initially simply unpleasant in terms of its qualities. What kind of pain is it, a pressing pain, a pulling pain, a burning pain, etc.? There are certainly various ways in which a bodily sensation can be perceived. The same applies to emotions. In my personal experience, such investigations open up whole worlds that sometimes seem completely unknown. Consequentially, getting in touch with them can be like visiting an unknown planet. And even if it may be unpleasant, I am still amazed at what opens up before me, inside of me, like a magnificent mountain range that can appear both dignified and unapproachable at the same time.
Zen master Thich Nhath Han is, to my knowledge, the first person to have written a book about working with the inner child. There are now more books on this subject that you can find in book shops. I am no expert on this, but I find the question very healing at the end of the RAIN method, reassuring the vulnerable feeling inside me that I will take care of it and stay with it. It is also a call to my own attention to take care of my body and mind, not just selectively, but throughout the entire healing process (and preferably beyond).
What about the pace or speed?
When it comes to speed, a Zen teacher whom I admire once said when he was ill: ‘Today, I am slow’.
For me, this describes a principle of resonance that arises when I connect with my body and my mind and feel how both have their own speed in unity. This speed is an expression of the vitality of my existence, and I should try to find out what my current speed is when I am ill and at other times too.
Get well soon, dear reader, in slowness and stay in touch with yourselves, with your living body and mind.
Be well,
Milan