Today we will discuss a concept that can help us understand ourselves better. Without being schizophrenic, I can still find a name for “the doer”, “the unstoppable one”, “the black dog” for dark feelings, or “the grateful one”, “the equanimous one”, etc. within me. I have deliberately not chosen the examples consistently.
Because it is not about a pattern.
What is it about?
It’s about getting to know ourselves better and knowing what’s inside us. When we get to know ourselves better, our feelings, our character tendencies, new impulses and questions inevitably arise. I am talking about the concept of the ‘inner team’ developed by psychologist and communication scientist Schulz von Thun. I think it is important to note that there is no universal team or team with fixed functions. I first have to find out who is in my team. For example, when I am exhausted and find myself in the middle of a big city, overwhelmed by stimuli, there is someone inside me whom I can trust to take us (me) to a quiet place to find rest. I can give them a name, but I don’t think that’s really important. In the beginning, it can help to learn something about myself and to know how to assess myself, which forces within me are struggling to make the next decision in a particular situation, and to whom I want to give authority.
And this is key: Who has the authority, the power to make a decision?
The awareness that has arisen through defining one’s own contributions enables one to delegate authority. But ‘the others,’ whoever they may be, whether unwanted or tolerated, also have a right to recognition in the sense of: “I know you are there. That’s okay, even if you’re not authorised to make a decision for me.”
Otherwise, they will find a way. Anselm Grün, a Benedictine priest, put it this way: ‘What is not looked at will find an outlet.’
If you like, work with these questions:
– What parts of yourself can you discover?
– How do they shape you and your everyday life?
– Who has authority?
– Who grants authority to whom?
Be well,
Milan
Literatur
Janssen, B., Grün, A., & Carstensen, R. (2017). Stark in stürmischen Zeiten: Die Kunst, sich selbst und andere zu führen. Ariston.
Steffen, A. (2019). Impulse zur eigenen Veränderung. Selbstcoaching mit dem Prinzip von Weniger und.